Excuse

I penalize students for not coming to class, or habitually coming in late. I took one student aside because of his habitual and terminal lateness and told him his behavior was damaging his class average.

"If the bus was on time, I'd be on time. But it's always five or ten minutes late, so I'm always five or ten minutes late."

"Take an earlier bus."

"But that would require I get up earlier."

Good point.

Excuse

"I'm sorry I missed the exam. I had a family emergency. I would have called, but I was in California."

"Oh! They don't have phones in California?"

On Grades

SOME of my students are enraged that I don’t give A’s and B’s to those who don’t come to class, take tests, or turn in papers. “I know I didn’t take two tests, and failed the one I did; I know that I did only one of the two assigned papers. Is there extra credit? Your class is gonna ruin my four point.” (Then, when they earn the grade they deserve, they glare angrily at me in the halls for the time they remain at in school). Alas, doing nothing and still making the Dean’s List is all too common.

A young student who didn’t come to class much or turn in many papers told me recently that if I didn’t allow her extra credit, she was going to earn a C in my class. “I’ve never got a C before,” she said. She took the final yesterday. Good news! She still will be able to say “I never got a C in my life.” She earned a D.

The modal course grade given at my college is A. Not an opinion, a documented fact. The second most assigned course grade is B. This, while the Board of Regents tells us the “average” grade should be C.

Realistically, I can’t imagine it’s going to change. The lip service is about my college providing “education” but the reality is that we are here to provide a commodity called “certification.” I once facetiously suggested that the school charge a big fee up-front, and award the degree without requiring class work. Many of my students thought that was a pretty good idea.

So do I, now that I think of it.

Wisdom

My pretty 19 year-old Moscow native came to my office the other day to say good-bye. She was returning to her homeland for the summer and wanted to check-in with me before she left.

I haven’t known many people from Russia, and, as far as I know, none from Moscow. I grilled her a little bit about the differences between Russia and the US in terms of traditions and cultures. As part of our conversation, I told her how impressed I was with the Russian people’s resistance to invasions from tyrants like Napoleon and Hitler. Napoleon, one of the greatest generals ever seen in the West, was destroyed and humiliated by the Russians in 1812. Hitler’s invincible war machine first stalled at Stalingrad, and then was crushed by the Red army. My Moscow friend told me that in Russia, the Second World War is called the Russian - German war. She reminded me that 20 million Russians died opposing Hitler.

She then grew serious and said to me, in a heavy Russian accent, “Don’t mess with Mother Russia.”

It gave me chills.

Here are the words I’ve learned to live my life by:

1) Chicks ain’t worth the hassle. (I forget this one sometimes, much to my detriment).

2) Eat what’s near ya.

And now,

3) Don’t mess with Mother Russia.

I think that’s one I’ll definitely remember.

Monday night I was watching the History Channel’s presentation on the German invasion of Russia in 1941. One story was told about a German company near Moscow late in the year when the temperatures were already 30 below. Nonetheless the Germans believed that the Russians were on the run and that Moscow would be theirs in just a few more days. One evening, dimly seen through the snow, the Germans was astonished to see a Russian counterattack on their fortified machine gun position. The Germans opened fire on the Russians when the Ruskies were about 300 yards away. The Russians kept getting shot and falling dead, by the dozens, by the hundreds. It was a total slaughter and it continued until the machine gun ran out of ammunition. The next day, every German in that company was found dead. “What do you imagine the company that replaced them thought?” said a German who had been there.

I repeat:

Don’t mess with Mother Russia!