Post Holiday Blues

I spent Thanksgiving in Austin with my two grown children. Austin was the warmest place in the entire US over the Thanksgiving weekend. The temperatures were in the 80s. I wore shorts the entire time. I had to sleep on my son's couch and that wasn't a good thing, but overall I had a good time.

The drive back was not so good. I made good time, but the wind was horrific. About 30 minutes after I got home, the power went out. Sitting in a dark cold house leaves one with little to do, so I went to bed at seven and slept though until 10 the next morning. The power was STILL out when I got up. Because I didn't like the idea of freezing in the dark, I put logs in the fireplace and lit them. For some unknown reason my squeeze had closed the damper so immediately smoke began to pour from the fireplace. The smoke detectors on both floors began to shriek. There was nothing to do but stick my hand up the chimney and try to get the flue open. This was hot work and I couldn't see a thing, my lungs were filling with smoke, and my hands were being coated black with burning soot. The smoke alarms were shrieking at 100db. Then one of the dogs threw up on the carpet. Life is good.

Actually, my head is totally screwed (long nights and short days exacerbate my depression) and so I stayed home yesterday, and called in today as well. I guess I'll be able to get my sorry ass up to school for my 7 a.m. class tomorrow. I guess.

Squeeze is out of town. Last night the pit bull barfed four times while I slept and this morning the husky barfed once. I must be doing something wrong. What happened to karma? I thought I have already paid my debt.

The power IS back on, and the day is sunny. Things are a little better.

Complaints

My squeeze is upset with me about the blog below. She says I’ll never get sex again if I don’t remove it. She says “Why didn’t you just bring your concerns up, rather than blog them?”

Why didn’t I bring my concerns up? I would think that for a normal couple that went without sex for a month the issue wouldn’t have to be brought up at all. Like the elephant in the living room, it really should be painfully obvious.

As to the threat of never having sex again - isn’t it interesting that not having sex for a month (or ever again) is apparently only a minor concern? But this embarrassing blog is far, far worse, and needs to be addressed immediately. (And this blog read, at most, by my daughter, about once a year).

I’m 58 years-old and I have a Ph.D. and over 30 years of experience in psychology. And yet, I’m still very naive.

Sex

No sex last week. No sex this week. No sex next week (I'm outta town). IF there's sex the week after that it'll be a month. Perhaps longer. It's like being married, without the benefits.

Living the Life

My former students and current young friends Austin and Kevin met me last night at a local watering hole to catch up with each other about the ongoing adventures in our lives. We met at a bar that has about 30 different beer on tap, most of them imports. I ordered a pint of Pilsner Urquell, which has got to be my favorite beer ever. After about 30 minutes of conversation a young woman, a friend of Austin’s, joined us at the table. Austin leaned over and whispered to me “She’s a Victoria Secret’s model.” Kevin leaned over and whispered to me “She’s a Victoria Secret’s model. She an ‘angel’.”

Later, Kevin found that the bar had cigars for sale. He and I bought these HUGE Macanudos (another favorite) and smoked them while we drank and talked.

Lordy, lordy, sometimes things are just GOOD!!

Yes We Have No Bananas, Part 3

My squeeze and I ate sitting at the bar at Chili’s last night. Every time we go someplace that we’ve gone before, the staff recognize her, They don’t recognize me. “Kendall Jackson chardonnay?” they asked without her ever saying a word. “And what will it be for you sir?”

What’s particularly disturbing is that we’ll visit the same restaurant a dozen times, and staff will remember her every time. If I then later go to that same restaurant by myself, the waitress we’ve had several times before comes over and introduces herself to me like she's never seen me before in her life. I'm beginning to think I'm the first human being to go though life with stealth technology - never appearing on anyone's radar.

(They remember my squeeze because she’s a bit unusual looking. She only has the one eye. It sits in the middle of her forehead. When my son first met my squeeze he whispered to me "Dad, didja notice that she's a cyclops" Well, duh! I tell her that her parents should have named her Picasso rather than Polyphemus.)

Last night I ordered the small dinner salad. The barkeep asked me what kind of dressing I wanted.

I said “Do you have any vinaigrette?”

She said “The only vinaigrette we have is low fat.”

Well, yuck on that. “What else do you have?”

She said “We have thousand island, French, bleu cheese, honey mustard, and balsamic vinaigrette.”

“Well, since you don't have any vinaigrette, I guess I’ll have the vinaigrette.”

Fetish Ball

Fetish ball in Tulsa last night. Interesting and strange people.

Me? I went as a burned out middle-aged college professor.

These, these are my people.