Tom Robbins on America

Novelist Tom Robbins had been asked in 1997 to write an essay about how he felt about America. His response was optimistic and upbeat.

More recently, however, he wrote the following postscript:

“The preceding was written several years before the military-industrial complex first seized and then cemented total control of the U.S. government, a coup d’etat that would have failed without the active assistance of a rapidly growing population of fearful, non-thinking dupes, ‘true believers’ dumbed down and almost comically manipulated by their media, their church, and their state. So be it. Freedom has long proven too heady an elixir for American masses, weakened and confused as they are by conflicting commitments to puritanical morality and salacious greed. In the wake of the recent takeover, our prevailing national madness has been ratcheting steadily skyward: the pious semi-literates in the conservative camp tremble and crow, the educated martyrs in the progressive sector writhe and fume. It’s a grand show, from a cosmic perspective, though enjoyment of the spectacle is blunted by the havoc being wreaked on nature and by the developmental abuse inflicted on children. We must bear in mind, however, that the central dynamic of our race has never been a conflict between good and evil but rather between enlightenment and ignorance. Ignorance makes headlines, wins the medals, doles out the punishment, jingles the coin, yet in its clandestine cubbyholes (and occasionally on the public stage) enlightenment continues to quietly sparkle, it’s radiance outshining the entire disco ball of history. Its day may or may not come, but no matter. The world as it is! Life as it is! Enlightenment is its own reward.”

Funny Stuff

Watch it all the way through.

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Why I Drive A Mercedes

From the TV show NOVA:

"This is Germany's infamous highway system, the autobahn. For long stretches, there is no speed limit. Some cars cruise at 100 miles an hour, and faster. Occasionally, German police cameras monitor the roads. Most of the time, traffic flows in predictable patterns. But recently, the cameras recorded a shocking event, a Mercedes in the oncoming lane is about to round the far corner, traveling almost 150 miles an hour. Playing back the tape, the police were able to see exactly what happened. The car was going too fast to make the turn. It grazed the guard rail on the right, and the driver lost control. After sliding 400 feet upside down, the car comes to a stop on the embankment, and the removable top flies off. Clearly, a horrifying accident, but what happens next is almost unbelievable. The driver climbs out - not only alive, but uninjured! A lucky man, certainly, but he also owes a large debt of gratitude to modern [German] engineering."

Turn the sound off and then click on the arrow.

Prophecy

“As democracy is perfected, the office of President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plan folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” - H.L. Mencken

Fun, Fun, Fun at the Tag Agency

Sitting in a pub with a couple of my former students and their friends recently, I found that among them there was an informal game as to who could get away with having the dorkest looking driver's license picture. They explained to me that the DMV doesn't allow most people to pull a face at the moment the photo is taken because, in truth, the license photo is supposed to resemble the person who carries it.

But one young fellow had the show stopping weirdest looking photo ID anyone at the pub had ever seen. His long hair was parted in the middle and hung down limp on both sides of his head. He was wearing the most ridiculous looking thick black framed eyeglasses I've seen since the 1950s. His shirt was buttoned to the throat and was hideous gaudy print. But best of all (or worst of all) was the completely stupid looking expression on his face - looking somewhat like the expression on the face of someone who's passed gas on an elevator but not been identified or throttled by the other passengers.

Everyone wanted to know how he'd managed to get away with the dorkest driver's license photo ever.

This is his genius: "I walked into the tag agency conspicuously carrying a large Book of Mormon. When it was time to get my photo, I put the book on the counter right in front of the lady taking the picture. I then put on my goofy face. She couldn't possibly have told me to look some other way."

Too bad this kid's intelligence and inventiveness couldn't be harnessed for world peace.